Sep 14

Tonight’s Show: Albino super-monkey in the hills of Pennsylvania

A listener writes “Wes, Thank you for the avenue to share experiences. I’ve kept this bottled up for years and have been ridiculed whenever attempting to get it off my chest.

It was the summer of 1987. Family reunion in Pennsylvania, up in mountain area near Cresson. Two days of eating, associating with my extended family and watching the adults get an afternoon buzz was enough for me. So being a typical hellion teenager, two cousins and I decided to go exploring in the countryside out on our own.

We walked off the homestead around 6pm.

Nobody was dressed for wooded conditions; we were three idiot guys in t-shirts, Nike’s and jeans. Not one weapon or even a pocket knife among us, but I did bring along a pair of binocs that my friend’s father had let me borrow.

Let me elaborate.
At the time, I was really fascinated with learning astronomy. A childhood friend was blessed with a really cool dad, who was one smart dude. He had sort of adopted me into his family and was the kind of adult who knew a lot about a lot. He saw me studying the stars one night with a compass, and handed me a pair of binoculars made just for night use. When you looked through them the image was much brighter than the human eye could produce; made by Swarovski, they were amazing to view the night skies with. Like somebody switched on a million more stars than what your eyes saw. He was glad to let me use them as long as I took care of them as though they were mine. So when I took a trip to attend the reunion, these binocs came with me.

Into the woods we three teenage morons went – and I had a pair of binocs to look at the moon with, once it got dark. Anything was better than one more minute sitting around a property full of drunks listening to country music.

So we were out in the bush, a few miles away from the party. Sunset had occurred and we were still out goofing around in the dark.

The moon was full, clear summer skies, and we were in no hurry to get back. At intervals we would walk into overlooks and clearings, and in the moonlight some of the views were amazing. I brought the binocs to my eyes plenty that night, sweeping my gaze into valleys and homesteads, seeing streams run like liquid silver.

During one of these view breaks, I handed the binocs to my cousin, letting him take a look while I sat down to remove a pebble from my Nikes.

In a few minutes he was babbling something. Said he saw a white gorilla down in the stream.

I could see by his face he was scared. He gave me the binocs and pointed to where I should look.

Of course, I looked.

What I saw blew my mind. It was white furred, hunched down on all fours in a stream. The stream boiled silver from the moonlight; ripples in the water were black; the creature was disturbing the water and splashing around in it, on all fours. I had no idea what it was, but I was not thinking of bigfoot. Maybe a white sheepdog? Wtf, It’s white, crawling around in a stream, after fish?

Then it stood up on two tree trunk legs. I clearly saw water streaming off its white hair, and a fish in held in both hands, thrashing. It repeatedly bit into the fish the same way you and I would bite into corn on the cob.

I remember cursing in a hoarse whisper, and handing the binocs to my remaining cousin who was asking wtf was going on.

All three of us saw it.

We watched it from the cover of the treeline, as it fished down in the valley. It made no noises we could hear, as the distance was pretty great. But I got a good look at its face, and brother let me tell you this was one ugly motherf****. The eyes were deep black caves, occasionally glinting blueish-white in the moonlight; it had large canine teeth, fish guts and shiny silver scales all over its mouth. I have no idea how tall or wide it was at the shoulders but I could tell it was strong by how it moved through the water. We took turns in silence watching it and passing the binocs back and forth.

After about ten minutes we suddenly came out of that strange WTF trance, and decided to get the hell out of there. What if there were more of these things out here in the dark? In silence and fear we walked back to the reunion site. To this day, we never speak of it, or to one another.

But we all know what we saw.

There is (or at least there WAS), an albino supermonkey in the hills of Pennsylvania, and it likes raw fish by moonlight.

I know this must sound like BS, but that thing was bone white. Not grey, not a guy in a monkey suit. Snow white, big and carnivorous.

If you would like further details, I can try to recall them if you want to talk this over.

Best regards,”

3 Responses to “Tonight’s Show: Albino super-monkey in the hills of Pennsylvania”

  1. Anna V

    I live not far from this area and found footprints in melting snow thus past March. I am unable to send to Sas. Chr. I have tried repeatably with no success. Can’t figure out why. I could send pics if I knew where to. Thank you. Anna V

Leave a Reply