May 8

MBM: Russian Villagers Capture Female Sasquatch

Bryan Sykes, Professor of Human Genetics at the University of Oxford. Sykes claims that he’s solved the mystery of Russia’s very own Bigfoot, which they’ve named “Zana” – a so-called “wild woman” or “Almasty” who Russians believe was captured in the late 19th century in southern Russia.

After carrying out DNA tests on saliva samples taken from descendants of “Zana,” Professor Sykes’ research has determined that Zana’s ancestry was “100% Sub-Saharan African” and that she was most likely a slave brought to the region by the then ruling Ottomans.

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