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    Jay Carlsen

    Some People have all the Luck ! ( Never me )
    2013 on New Years Eve my Father had 3 Heart Attacks & 2 Strokes maybe 7:00 pm and we were at the Hospital after He was stabilized. Since my Father had fallen asleep (After they did their Test ) I went and asked the Doctor if my Mother & Myself were required to stay ? Since We were told He would be out for the Night.
    When the Doctor told me that my Father had 3 Heart Attacks & 2 Strokes , and that We were very close to losing Him.
    The Doctors Eye Brow Raised after I said ” REALLY ?!? ” So I had to explain that We are of Danish Decent. ( Even though I am far removed from the Home Country )
    I have always been told that We look Forward to leaving. Because We already know that the REAL Begins after we pass into the next.
    And I added that since I became a Christian after hearing Him say 4 words in a Crazy Dream I had sometime in August of 2001 ? I already know that after I leave here I have places to Go & Things to do. ( Whatever they may be ) I did not want to be stuck here forever. And the Doctor considered to what I had just said ; and He agreed with me that He did not want to be stuck here either. And I shared my little ” Son of Man pitch ” with him.
    Last December 16th I walked next door to my Parents House to fill the Wood Furnace for the night. And since my Fathers Stokes had taken a lot from Him , and He sat in His Chair in front of the Television for the past 2 years…… Every Time I would walk into my Parents House I would ask ‘ HEY ! Do You have a Fire Going ? ‘ And every single Time my Father would Reply ” Well , I do not Know ? Maybe you can go check it for me ? ” And so like every other time I walked down stairs and loaded the Wood Furnace.
    I walked up stairs I really did not want to stay and listen about Cars that were sold on Auction that day on Television. It was already around 10:30 pm and my Daughters had School the next day; and I had to go home because nobody believes me that you need 8 Hours of Sleep in order for Your Brain to Function Properly ? So I did not have time to shoot the SHHHHH… I would talk to Him in the Morning.
    I was reaching for the Door Handle when my Father said ” Hey Man , I do not think I am going to be here for Christmass ?” Which stopped me in my tracks & I turned back to face Him and I asked Him ‘ Well where are You Going ? ‘ ( Since it had been 2 Years since My Father sat down & quit walking )
    When my Father told me again ” Well , I am not going to be here. Will You be Happy for me ? ” When I Exploded ‘ HECK YEAH ! I will be Happy For You ! Because the next Time that I see You – YOU will be as Young as I am ! ( October 6th 1971 ) And when that happens ? WATCH OUT ! Because that is when the Party is going to Stat !’ And My Father said ” I will be as Young as You are. Won’t I ? ‘ And I reassured Him ‘ Hell Yeah You will be ! But now I have to go make sure those Girls go to sleep.’ And I went home.
    The next Morning after the Girls went to School , I went next door to my Parents House tp clean the Ashes out of the Furnace & make sure that there was a Fire. I walked inside my Parents House and said ‘ Hey ! Do you have a Fire Going ?’ But my Father sat in His Chair , leaning back , with His Eyes Closed. He did not say anything. Since I have seen Him sleep in that Chair , I did not think anything of it. I cleaned out the Furnace , leaving enough Embers to start the Wood I loaded into the Furnace. When I walked back up Stairs , as I walked past my Father I reached down & touched His Knee. And He was already Cold & Stiff ! ( BEST DAY OF MY LIFE ! )
    So I walked over to the Grocery Store where my Mother was a Butcher. And I told Her that I went to make sure the Fire was going , and the Old Man was already Cold & Stiff ! And She was shocked because He had just told Her to have a Good Day at work 20 minutes earlier !
    My Father was 79 years old ! I do not think that I will make it to 79 years old.
    I have been in a Motorcycle Accident & sustained a Head Injury when I was 16 years old. In that Crazy Dream I had in August of 2001 I was picked up from the Ground and my Head Injury was GONE ! ( JUST LIKE THAT ! Faster than Magic ! ) And Once Again I AM WHOLE !
    I envy you my Friend. ( And I am right behind You , and You and Yours are Invited to My Fathers & My Reunion ) ( when I get there of Course )

    Jay Carlsen


    If it has a Sloping Forehead and a Mid Tarsal Break across the center of it’s Feet ? Then it is this OTHER Manner of People – the Sasquatch People.

    Jay Carlsen


    Jay Carlsen

    Native Americans say the Sasquatch People are Cannibals. And They will take the dead from both sides of the Conflict ( Too eat later )
    Episode 67 & 68 are the BEST ! ( what ever number it was / sorry , I am lazy and did not read the Comments ) I already know Jeremiah S is spot on what he says.

    Jay Carlsen

    Oh I do not mind. I got Thick Skin ( Oilfield 22 years ) I try to watch my Mouth. Keep it clean so anyone can read it.

    Jay Carlsen

    Now for the CRAZY PART !
    Is it not CRAZY that when I had this Crazy Dream I still had the Teeth in my Mouth ? But that is a Given as when I was thrown from the back of the Motorcycle and landed on the back side of my Helmet – my Chin bounced off my Sternum – breaking my Helmet in 2 pieces , and breaking my Neck , bouncing my Chin off my Sternum , Driving my Jaws Together , Smashing all the Enamel on my Teeth. But were Implants even invented in August of 2000 ? Because I never even heard of then until 2006 and at the time Implants were being promoted as State of the Art.
    When I had this Crazy Dream I was a Single Man , living in Motels , chasing the Job across the Country. And at that Time in my Life I had NO CHILDRENS. So isn’t it CRAZY that Today I have raised my 2 Teenage Daughters , and I am still on good terms with Their Mother and my Step Daughter ( Who all just happen to be BLONDS ) And HOW Can I see my Children before they were even Conceived ? If this has not already taken Place ; and we are only right now just going through the Motions ?
    I have been THIS way since I have turned 16 years old. THIS is IT , THIS is my Normal Now.
    But when I am standing up there , in top of the Ozone and it is GONE ? How can a Brain Damaged Mind Perceive being WHOLE Again ? As it is a Scientific FACT that Grey Matter can not Regenerate. Who took it from my Shoulders like that >
    What Happened to it ?
    …. HOW ?
    And what a Coincidence that Russia threatened the East Coast Today ?
    Somewhere , that I can not say exactly When ? ( But I think just after I am stood upon my Feet on top of the Ozone ) As I am putting things together in my Mind , when I get SCARED ! And I Beg the Voice speaking inside my Head ‘ QUICK ! Please just take This away from me , before HE sees me with it ! ‘ But the Voice who was speaking inside my Head replied almost as if Amused ” * No , You Must Account For Everything You Have Ever Done Before” (Justnotrightyetatthisverymomentrightnow)

    ( * ) As soon as it Speaks , the Understanding came over me that ANYTHING I have ever done before was already Paid For IN FULL By the Blood of Jesus , which was Shed to cleans the Sins of Modern Human Kind.( Beyond all doubt in my Mind )

    Jay Carlsen

    Yes it will.
    ( Thank You M99 ! )
    I caught that , just after I posted the comment on Episode 875 , And I see that He is here. Great !
    And YES This Crazy Dream I had. I wrote when my disbelief started above , I did not deal with it very well.
    1992 I began working in the Oilfield doing Seismic Survey , mapping underground Formations so we can tell the Rigs to Drill. Fast Forward to sometime in the Month of August 2001 ( notice the Time Frame ?) back at the Red Roof Inn of Washington Pa when I had the CRAZIEST DREAM I have ever had before in my entire Life ! CRAZY Because in this Dream I was MUCH OLDER than I was at the Time ?
    – I had different aches & pains that I can not account for right off Hand ? My Back Hurt ?
    In this CRAZY DREAM I am BACK at work again , and I am walking down our ‘line’ and I am carrying something Heavy on my Back. I do not know if it is Equipment ? or a 7 horse Chrysler Backpack Drill ? The only thing I know is that it IS Heavy.
    I am sweating Rivers because it is very hot & humid outside. As I walk down our ‘line’ I am going up into Woods that are not familiar to me , because all the Trees are small & scrubby looking / Not like the Hardwood Forest of Northern Michigan at all. The Ground was very Rocky ( also Unlike Michigan )
    I can hear people taking back & forth over the Handheld Radio that is clipped to my Belt. But I am only paying it 1/2 assed attention ( just in case someone calls for me )
    I pick my way down this Steep Hill and at the bottom a large Clearing in the Forest opens up before me ( like 2 acers ) I can see that our ‘line’ crosses this Field lengthwise then climbs another Steep Hill over on the far side. And 1/2 way up that next Hill is a Wood Line that would be the Perfect Spot where I can take me a Break ! So I shift the weight on my Shoulders and I strikeout to cross this Field as Quickly as I can. I am walking through very Tall Mustard Weeds , the Sun is Beating Down , NO WIND , so I assume late in the Summertime ? MAYBE ?
    I reach the base of this Hill to start my ascent and I glance up into the Shade when 2 Hands slide INTO My Back ! And Picks me up from the Ground ! Like by my Shoulder Blades ! And it does not Hurt – but it does feel Disgusting because Nobodies Hands are suppose to be IN there like That ! As soon as Who/What Touches me I know that it can “SEE” right Through me , so they are holding me at Arms Length ( like Ewww ! ) Because I am SO DIRTY. I know that it can “SEE” Straight Through me , because so can I , and it is just FILTHY !
    So I am QUICK with the Flimsy Excuse of ‘ well ? what do you expect ? Of COURSE I am dirty , I am working here ‘ ( But it was not physical dirt / it was Mental DIRT ) When this Voice speaking inside my Head told me ” It Is Your Time To Go Now, Are You Ready ?” ….what ?
    Wait a minute here , I am confused ; and so I protest ‘ Go ? But I can not GO Anywhere. I am Working right now , I am on the Clock ?’ Again I am told to ” Never Mind That Now , Now Is Your Time , Are You Ready ?” when the Thought of 2 Young Children ( ALL BLONDS – though I can not tell if Girl /boy?) and an Older Child who is just behind. This Thought begins to pull at my Heart and I PLEAD ‘BUT WHAT ABOUT MY FA<ILY ? What about my Friends ?’ when I am reassured “They (Childrens) Are Fine , But You Must Tell Me Now , Are You Ready ?”
    But still , I need a moment to Process – So there I am , 3 feet Off the Ground , Someone had Their Hands IN My Back , Talking to me inside my Head ? And I conclude that Nothing like This has ever happened to me before ! so it MUST be Legit ! I said ‘ ok , I am ready ‘ when I am told Too ” SPIT THOSE OUT ! HE DOESN’T WANT TO SEE YOU WITH THOSE ! ” …. Crap. Busted , now I am Bummed. And so I said to Myself inside my Own Head ‘ Flipping DAMN IT ! I just paid $1,000.00 for those last Week ! P’TTUEY !’ And I spit out my Top Denture , and I reach inside of my Mouth and Unsnap the Lower Denture from the Mounts embedded in my Lower Jaw. I let them fall
    And I see my Boots ! Below them the Ground Disappears !
    Tree Tops !
    Clouds !
    Then BAM ! There I am , standing on top of the Ozone looking at my Feet. Directly below is the Gulf of Mexico , before me I can see the lower part of the North American Continent ( not Michigan because I lose it to the Curve at the Horizon ) to my far left is Mexico , below & behind me I can make out the Coast of South America , and to my right are a few Islands – Then Ocean.
    The Voice who is Speaking to me comforts me ” Everything Is Alright ! You Are Ok , You Can Stand On It ….(Ozone)…. Like A Table ” Even before that I am Startled that my Head Injury IS GONE ! JUST LIKE THAT ! Faster than magic ! My Back does not Hurt , My Bones do not Ache , I can Breath through my Nose Again , All the Teeth are back inside my Mouth ! ONCE AGAIN I AM WHOLE ! ( SO FAST I completely missed it ! )
    I pick my Face up in Awe , and HEY ! Right Back Over There is the MOON ! Just Hanging there above the Planet
    I look Straight Up and I can see ALL the Stars in the Sky !
    I glance over my left Shoulder and 2 planets away is the Sun , just Burning at the center of Our Solar System.
    When it is Announced ” ON YOUR KNEES , YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE SON OF MAN !” and I fell flat on my Face , looking Down. When at the Sudden , like a billion – Billion LOUD , Angry , Disappointed , Terrible , PISSED OFF VOICES all said in Unison “‘ WATCH WHAT THEY DO ‘” and i am watching when I see Fire jump up from the Ground Below ! Big Billowing Clouds of FIRE ! Delaware , Maryland , Virginia , North / South Carolina , Georgia , West Virginia , ohio , Indiana , Illinois , Kentucky , Tennessee , Alabama ! And I Scream out in Horror ‘ WHY DID YOU LET THEM DO THAT FOR ?!? ‘
    Then I woke up. Isn’t THAT Crazy ?
    Does the Bible say that this will Happen ? ( Because now I am afraid to read it)

    Jay Carlsen

    When I was young , my Brother & I shared a room upstairs. Our Beds on the opposite side of the Large Room. I would call out to my Brother ( 4 yrs younger ) and tell Him that I had a secret to tell Him ! And He would tell me to just say it. But I would decline , telling Him that it was secret information ! I had to whisper it into His ear.
    And He would lose interest , until I made it out to be so important ; and how I couldn’t repeat it above a whisper.
    He would creep over to my side of the Room and want me to tell Him. But I would always make him come right close , so I could whisper it in his ear. When I would get my Hands on Him – I would YELL ” WOULD YOU JUST GO TO BED ! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP HERE ! ” And My Brother would try to break my Grip – to no avail… Until my Father would hit the Landing on the Stairs!
    Then I would release my Brother , who would always get caught ! When my Father would turn the Light ON ! MID – AIR ! Jumping back into Bed !
    My Father would always snatch Him up and TAN HIS HIDE ! And I would hide underneath my Covers. Before my Father would turn off the Light , He would always tell me ” And You’re Next there Buddy ! ”
    And it wouldn’t matter if He came upstairs 4 – 5 Times ? He would always see my Brother out of Bed – So HE would get the brunt of it !

    Jay Carlsen

    Thank You !

    Jay Carlsen

    Thank You ! Merry Christmass !

    Jay Carlsen

    Awesome !

    Jay Carlsen

    ………. I do not know of anyone who is perfect ? ( He was only here 30 some odd years ? Before He left here , promising to return one day in the Future )
    [ Forgive me as I do not know His Age ? Having never read the Bible before. And I do not remember if Age was discussed in Sunday School ? ]
    … and I do not know about Fairness ? As I have gotten away with WAY More than I was busted for.
    The old man was a Character ! My younger Brother by 4 years was telling me the other night how He had stopped at my Fathers Barn we had on a 2 acre Property that was 20 miles away from our House. Where my Father would drag out the Sign that said
    “Barn Sale” on both sides to the Highway. Where He would sell Antique Furniture He re-did , and other “Junk/Other Mans Treasures” He had acquired at Garage Sales.
    When the middle brother told me when He was up from College for the break they had taken. And the middle Brother went out to the Barn to ask our Father if He would like to go Eat Breakfast at the little Restaurant 5 miles away ? As my Father had customers who were looking over the Tables of Knickknacks’ that were set up before the open side Doors of the Barn. My Father told my Brother to come on inside the Barn , and they would wait for them to make up their minds before they left.
    Now my Brother had bought an old Row Boat that served as a Life Boat on a Ship that ran the Great Lakes. It was Wooden , and my Brother claimed He was going to refinish it and sell it for Profit ! ( When it didn’t need Refinishing to start with ) Well this Boat was parked in my Fathers Barn , that He had this Barn Sale.
    So they walked into the Barn and my Brother puts his foot on the Tire of the Trailer , And my Father was standing just behind. And my Dad was asking my Brother when He was going to get it out of the Barn ( as it took up a lot of space )
    When they heard ” Hey There ! How much is this old Comic Book ? ” So my Father said over his Shoulder ” There should be a sticker on it. ” Then the Man Blew Up ” WHAT ? $1.00 ? For this thing ? It has Pages Missing ! ” My Brother was stumbling over an excuse why the Boat was even still at the Barn. And my Father looked back over His Shoulder at the old Flash Comic Book that only had the Top half of the Cover. And my Father said ” Oh , that thing ? I don’t care , Twenty Five Cents.”
    The Man pushed his Hand to the bottom of his Pocket , and pulled out 2 Quarters. And He handed them both to my Father saying ” Here ya go.” So My Father faces the Man exclaiming ” A 100 % Gratuity ? Why Sir , you are a fool with your money !” STRAIGHT FACE.
    The Man left in a Huff ! And my Brother still couldn’t excuse Himself from cleaning out a spot in the garage which was the original Plan. Then they went for Breakfast.
    I have 4 Friends who were always roped into Helping me Split – Stack Fire Wood. My other old friend I wasn’t suppose to be around because He was a bad influence. ( Even though everything He got in trouble for began as my Idea )
    I was angry one day after School having invited 2 of my Friends over to eat Lasagna & Garlic Bread. And we were Outside , throwing 4 Face Cord of Firewood into the House. My Friends were all like ‘ What the FLIP Carlsen ? Why is it every time that we are over for Dinner – We are WORKING ? ‘ And so they sent me inside to plead our case to the BEAR ( which was what my Friends called my Father – longer story )
    I walked in and said ‘ Hey , can we do this Tomorrow ? ‘ still with the steady sound of Wood piling in the Basement coming up through the Floor Boards. My Father said ” Look , This needs to be done. And once it is Done – You’re DONE and can do anything you want ! So the only way before you is to get it DONE. So quit Belly Aching and DO IT. do you see how that works ? ” So saying I got my Work Ethic from my father is no small thing. And it made me the Man I am today.
    When we moved Up North I was put in Kindergarten again. As I completed a year in Detroit. When the children would ask where I moved to the area from ? And I said Detroit , everyone wanted to be my Friend. But 2 years later when we moved 8 miles south to the next small Northern Michigan town. Where the children were less impressed that I came from a Basket Ball Rival , ( calling it a word that does not translate well ) And I found myself Running from 16 young Boys ( who were all Related ! ) 3 Times a Day for the Hour that we had Recess. Who would take my Shoes and fill them with Dirt ( and those Flipping Sand Burs ! ) Beat on me – and all that other kid stuff.
    I returned home one day and my Dad asked me How I liked the New House !?! We were back in Town again , where we could walk to the Store whenever we wished. 2 Blocks from the School Playground. I was less impressed. And I said ‘ Naaaa , lets move back. All the kids here chase me down on the Playground – Take my Shoes – Beat me Up.’ which was the WRONG Response. Because my Father said ” WHAT ? Well that will never happen. And what do you mean kids chase you ? ”
    And I said that these Kids did not like me because we moved there from the Previous Town… And they they would Chase me all day.’ When my Father told me
    ” You are a Carlsen. And we do not run. If I ever hear that you are not sticking up for Yourself ? You are going to have to deal with me. ”
    The Next Day at first Recess I got out to the Playground right away , so I could watch my back. When I hear ” THERE HE IS ! GET HIM !!! ” So I started Running ( I was Quick back then ) Until I heard someone turn the Corner on the other side of the School who had a Loud Muffler , which I Mistook for my Fathers Car. It was already set before – when I was told. So I stopped – Turned around and punched the first Kid square on the Nose ! Which sat Him on His ass Crying – with a bloody Nose ! Everyone stopped and looked at Him – And I Took Off Again ! And hung out by the girls Jumping Rope.
    I watched the Playground Teacher talking to them all – and they were all pointing in different directions saying ” That New Kid !” But since we had 8 – 9 New Kids in that small Class ( Or the Playground Teachers thought they had it coming ? ) I never got in Trouble.
    The Kid I Punched ended up being a good friend of mine. Isn’t it Funny how it works ?

    Jay Carlsen

    It is not a bad thing , because now He is out of that chair.
    But I tried not to get too close to the Iron Hand , and I liked to keep a distance between us. Because every time He would catch me & my friends He would have us throwing Wood in the House ( and stacking it in the Basement. ) I would get so mad at Him when He would tell me ” Hey ! Were eating Spaghetti tonight ! So have all your Friends ( 4 other guys ) Over for Dinner!”
    So after School we would all go to my House , and my Father would say ” Well we still have 2 hours before dinner is ready… Why don’t You & Your Friends go throw those 4 Cord of Wood inside the House and Stack it ! By then Dinner will be done. ”
    And it didn’t even matter if it took 3 Hours to Stack it ! Dinner would always be done when we were finished.
    I was so pissed one day , I said ‘ You just want my Friends to come over , So You can get all the slave labor out of them ! ‘ And my Father just LAUGHED !( and made certain we all heard it ! )

    My Mother prayed that I had Girls , because I would have ruined my sons. ( And I have 3 Daughters ! )

    Thanks for reading – as it flows better this way.

    Jay Carlsen

    We are Pretty Clever !
    But how Terrifying would it be to find that it is ALL True ?

    Jay Carlsen


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